A Picture Is A Poem Without Words

mommy:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Via Everything you were too afraid to ask


I’m an adult, but not like a real adult

– anyone between the ages of 18 and 25 (via prettyboystyles) Via cOSIMA

sextspert:

superwholock-at-hogwarts:

chevvybar:

hiddlestalker:

lifehackable:

More Life Hacks Here

Day 1: you ripped open my vagina and I hate you
Day 5: just kidding you’re so cute and soft and small lol I could fit you in a handbag
Month 2: STOP CRYING PLEEEAASE. JUST ONE HOUR OF SLEEP AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVERRRR
Month 5: mama? Mama? Mama? Say it? Please? Say something? Please
Month 8: IF. YOU. DON’T. STOP. SAYING. MAMA. THE. POLICE. WILL. NEVER. FIND. THE. BODY.
Year 1: One down. 17 to go…
Year 1, Month 11: oh god.. it’s coming…
Year 2: NO PLEASE JUST PUT THAT DOWN. NNOOO! DON’T TOUCH THAT! Baby, i love you no matter whaT BUT PLEASE DON’T TOUCH THAT JJUST STAY STILL PLEASE SWEETHEART
Year 3: Oh thank god that’s over
Year 4: Awwww, you went to preschool. isn;t that adorable, my little intellectual shit
Year 5: ACTUAL SCHOOL! YOU LEARNED COLORS AND NUMBERS YOU’RE A GENIUS

Year 15: You called me a fuckwit. What the fuck is a fuckwit?

year 16; oh god no LIGHTLY step on the gas NO NON NO NO YOU DONT HAVE TO PRESS THAT HARD ON THE BREAK!!!

year 17: I caught you masturbating but you didn’t notice so I didn’t say anything. You’re welcome.


So last night I got drunk and played Skyrim

karlosmadera:

I’m still torn on whether this is the greatest thing I’ve ever done or the stupidest. 

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Via Ayee lmao

Leave a ‘would you ever’ in my ask

(Source: desdemonosa)

Via #hashtag

hho-hhe:

When someone unfollows me I take it very personally.


Via psychedelic

sassykardashian:

my heart says yes but my bank balance says no

(Source: sassykardashian)

Via cats >

(Source: matt-molloy)


condorn:

2young2care-yolo:

condorn:

how do u mute ur parents

actually doing what they tell you to do

thank u 2young2care-yolo

(Source: condom)

Via
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